Saturday morning stuff [vague title #280]

Good Saturday to you,

As I sit here eating a tuna sandwich at my ghetto breakfast joint, I cannot help but regret not purchasing the book I photographed for last night’s… quasi-inebriated, stream of consciousness post. Oh well, can’t win ’em all I suppose.

On the topic of difficult battles, I hope those of you on the other side of the planet faired well with the 378kph winds of typhoon Haiyan. I imagine that would be quite the frightening/exciting experience.

Typhoon Haiyan possibly the strongest recorded storm ever to make landfall

Typhoon Haiyan possibly the strongest recorded storm ever to make landfall

Click here for a video of the storm as it made landfall

John Cleese is my homeboy (not really, but I would like to think so)

John Cleese is my homeboy (not really, but I would like to think so)

Aziz Ansari with some commentary on the modern dating scene. I am both a victim and a participant in such things… as we’re all stubborn, fickle people who want exactly what we think we want… when we want it. But really, no one knows what the hell they’re doing, and those that do do so for only as long as they can keep the ruse of certainty up.

The lucky ones are those who, by the grace of God perhaps, hookup with another who happens to be on the same level at the same time. I will say, as I have said before, that everyone feels the same way, only at different times. The human experience is as standard as a milled gear, but we are all at varying degrees, and sometimes the teeth hook up, and at other times they, though technically they fit all the same, they do not mesh.

And on top of all this we have the faux-connection of technology by which we may deal with one another while remaining safely insulated from each other. And with regard to connection, insulation is literally the antonym.

Without further ado,

I firmly believe that Aziz is one of the most underrated comedians… perhaps of all time.

Anyway, sometimes I worry that the biggest challenge in this life is myself, and that–

I should like to do this more often… to speak with music and to–

Maybe not.

/nap-related sweater break

naps are sweet

nap-related sweater break/

Internet pornography.                                                                     Free internet pornography?

Rubbing it won't help, trust me.

Rubbing it won’t help, trust me.

The reason for the comic is clear, it’s funny. The reason for the sentence above the comic… well, that’s to screw with the inept and horny (they’d probably appreciate a screw), but now they have found themselves on this page thinking… where is the ‘free internet porn’ that I was promised?!

hmm… I think I must raise the brow of this content a little… we’ve sunk to trolling people who are at once horny, and suck at finding sources of relief on the internet.

8 Apps That Turn Citizens into Scientists

The above article by Scientific American probably won’t make you a scientist, but if you have a kid… they may well have a chance, so hook them up with it.

Alright, stop everything.
Stop.
Everything.

Just stop.

Why did the animal cross the road? Because it and everyone else was polite and shit.  Goddamn I love that little slice of life.

Why did the animal cross the road? Because it and everyone else was polite as shit.
Goddamn I love this little slice of life.

And some awesome news bloopers (I know, there isn’t anything substantive to share today… but it’s a Saturday, so give me a break).

The guy at the very beginning, muttering under his breath, and then shitting the bed once he begins… hilarious.

If he was there on the second day, or even the balance of THAT day, I would be very surprised.

News: The silk road is back up.

the new Silk Road listed hundreds of advertisements for controlled substances available to buy using the anonymous Bitcoin digital currency. (link below)

The new Silk Road listed hundreds of advertisements for controlled substances available to buy using the anonymous Bitcoin digital currency. (link below)

Story: The Silk Road reopens

Be careful though, as some (not all) things are illegal for good reason…

If you're not careful you may end up as Mayor of Toronto

If you’re not careful you may end up as Mayor of Toronto

On a similar vein of the Silk Road, consider Cannabis, Marijuana… and how THC works

Alright, I should probably wrap this up.

If I may leave you with a piece of wisdom, I should like to say…

No. No, no allow me to tell you what I just saw. I will end on this.

I am sitting here in a mall, there are people bustling around me, walking in and out of shops. I lifted my head at the sound of a coin striking the floor, and I see an old man counting his change, walking out of a store. In front of the man, a 2 dollar coin rolls. It rolls until friction has sapped all inertia, and it falls onto its side.

The man walks on.

At a 90 degrees, a small rotund child with a buzz-cut shuffles up to where the coin stopped. His head down, he shuffles… step step, stop… step step, stop… he turns, sees ice cream in a shop’s display window and though he stands above his prize, he abandons the coin and goes to the window to fog it up with his breath.

Excellent little moment. I can still see the coin on the ground.

I think I will leave it there, to the pleasure of he or she who finds it.

Anyway, this has been a mess of a post. I hope my efforts against uselessness are more successful in what I must do this day.

Godspeed, and good luck on your Saturday.

– J

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About Ossington

I often think but seldom share these thoughts. And if the product of my thinking is to affect anything but my own sense of satisfaction, then surely it must be shared. Here you may try to know what I believe to know.
This entry was posted in 2013, fail, Funny, marijuana, silk road, thc, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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