Tomorrow I begin my classes at University again. I will be studying Democracy, War & Peace, Late Medieval Philosophy, and Oragin and Evolution of the Universe… all under the auspices of achieving a specialist in Physics… yup.
Well, no. I do need to change that back to a double-major in Political Science and Philosophy. And that, is that an end? Am I studying these things so that I can achieve something? Perhaps, perhaps not. It is my belief that the act of taking these classes, in having a genuine interest in the content, that I believe is the end. Here I can find myself ever-arriving at a destination, rather than always looking over the horizon (which is not possible) and seeking to one day make a voyage to a destination. That kind of voyage is closer to death than it is to life.
Our lives begin today. Rather, our lives already have begun, and they continue onward, until the point where there is stagnation. And with excessive rest comes the depletion of the self, the body, and the soul.
Sundays, for myself, are days of relaxation (I’m currently at work), reflection… and well, mostly relaxation. I once said that Sundays, as days, do not count. Sundays are a void that exists within the week where we can crawl inside some blankets and enjoy not being counted among the living. Of course, this is terribly fallacious. Sundays do in fact count. These days count as any others do, either wholly (in the sense that life can be lived under the banner of that week day), or these days do not matter at all. In which case, these days and weeks and months and years do not matter. These hours and minutes should serve only to allow us a better chance at living all the time. Feeling all the time. Wondering, questioning, loving, being afraid, taking stands. If instead we fall into the humdrummery of it all, and we resent Mondays, and Tuesdays, and we don’t feel we can stomach Wednesdays, and Thursdays offer anxiety, and Friday is a hope of Saturday, and Saturday is a savior… why? Wait, no. Stop. If you believe that Saturday and Sunday are the only 2 days of the week that offer you a chance to live your life, you’re not living at all. If this is the case, your one-single-life upon this planet, as an adult (whatever that means) is only compatible with happiness 2 out of the 7 days of the cycle that you choose to live within. That is absurd. That is so fucking absurd.
To now play the devil’s advocate, there is a weary note… this way of thinking that life can have meaning if we allow it to blossom, or if we go out and pluck it from the world and put it upon our vest to smell, and do, and be… now, for this life to even be possible, today, is to necessarily depend upon a great deal of other people to live along that line of humdrumery, of the work week… to live as a means for others to live better lives.
For me, or you or some lovely person or child to play in the grass and enjoy the sunshine, there must be many others who work in the manufacturing processes to ensure we get our drugs, are fed, have textiles produced to wear, have electronics assembled, programmed, shipped so that we may have information about the greater world… and until there is either divine, or technological intervention, there must always be a working class who receives less than the living class. Mustn’t there be?
With that being said, being happy, and living a happy life might require (for now) participation in a zero-sum game, where for one to benefit, another must suffer. To know of the suffering of others is upsetting, but in our striving for the happy life, we must not allow this to lessen our smile, nor should we ignore these silent plights. Instead we should make our smiles more genuine in holding the suffering of others in our hearts… to know that we stand so close to the sun, because of the vast heap of unfortunate circumstance and people beneath us… to know this is take the first step toward a responsible existence. The culpability, the pang of it that resides somewhere in our ever-present understanding of the world, it adds legitimacy to all other feelings and motivations, hopes, desires, and the like.
Be the good that you want to see in the world. Think of others, always. Relax, take a deep tummy breath (Google this), and be happy that you’re healthy, alive, and most certainly more good than bad.